Happiness?

 I recently read through my diary from my early teen years. I never realized what a terrifying place a diary could be. Hah. Sadly though, it was mostly filled with rants about how terrible life was and how nothing was going the way I wanted or thought it should go. How I was always sad, that I didn't have any friends, nobody understood me. This went on for years. I felt depressed and constantly upset about how my life wasn't turning out how I thought it would. At that time I was living in a fantasy. I thought life was like the stories I read and the movies I watched. That as you got older, life would become perfect, easy and I'd always be happy. How wrong I was. Life isn't perfect. People aren't perfect. Everyone and everything is perfectly flawed. We seem to think that to be happy, life has to be exactly how we want it to be. Life has to go exactly how we think it should. We should get what we want and be able to do whatever we want, whenever we want. Well, guess what. Happiness is not getting everything you want. Happiness is not having a perfect life, perfect friends, family, job. Happiness is being content with where the Lord has you and what the Lord has given you. You might not have as many friends as you want.  You may hate your job. Your family may not be as perfect as you want it to be. Life may not being going the way you think it should go. But your life is not in your hands. Your life is not yours. It's God's.

"That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions,in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 

~ Corinthians 12:10 ~

Life may seem terrible right now. You may feel like life has been terrible for a long time. But everything that is happening or has happened is God's plan. And even though it may seem like God hates you and that he's trying to punish you by putting hardship in your life; he isn't. Trials are put in our lives to help us to rely on Him; to show us that we are not even capable of handling any struggles on our own. That only He can. He can see everything that has happened, is happening, and what will happen. He knows how the trials in your life will help you in the future. What things you need to learn and go through to become the person He wants you to be. As terrible as those things might seem right now, those trials are what make you stronger. I see that in my own life. Things that seemed devastating to me in the past, the things that made me question what the point of life even was-If those things hadn't happened, I wouldn't be where I am today. To be able to look back and see some of those things, and look at how things ended up turning out in my life now; It's incredible. To see that God truly does know what is best for me. What things and/or people in my life that were hurting me even though I didn't see it, God did. He removed those things from my life. It was hard and it hurt when it was happening. But as hard as it was then, and as much as I didn't understand why it was happening, I am so thankful they did. Because I honestly wouldn't be the person I am today if they didn't. I wouldn't have been able to see how much He does love and care for me. 

I haven't figured it all out yet. There are times when I find myself going down that path again. Upset about how things aren't going how I think they should. Or even looking back to how "perfect" life used to be when I was a kid. But I'm learning to give it to the Lord. Beginning to truly believe and know that He knows what's best for me and His timing is the perfect timing. But gosh, never did I realize how many times you would have to constantly give your worries over to the Lord. We are so flawed and so simple minded compared to Him. It is so incredibly difficult for us to just submit ourselves and our worries to Him. We don't even realize that most of the time our refusal to give our burdens to the Him is what's hurting us the most. He is more powerful and more wonderful than our small minds can even comprehend. He is capable of handling any and every trouble we have had or ever will have, and He is willing to take that burden from us, no questions asked. 

Happiness is letting go of all your burdens and giving them all to the Lord. Its being content with the life and the things He's given you. He loves us more than we will ever know, and He only wants what's best for us. Even though things happen that don't seem like they could possibly be for the best, they are. Just trust Him and you'll learn to be content. Give it all to him and He will help you.