Letting Go Of Expectations

Life seems to be constantly speeding past me because I'm constantly spending it thinking about the next "big" thing in my life. Constantly waiting for that "thing" to happen in my life that is going to somehow make me feel like my life is worth living. I have so many ridiculous ideas of what those things are going to be. Over and over again, I go through the cycle of thinking "Oh, this is finally going to make me content. This will make me happy." Friends, family, fun events, getting married, whatever it may be. I'm always getting to those things that I "knew" would make me happy and content and I'm incredibly disappointed when they come and go and I don't feel happy or content.

 It then of course sends me spiraling into depression, which is incredibly difficult to get myself back out of. Then, the circle begins again. I begin to put my trust, time and energy into the next thing that will definitely be it. The thing that will make me happy. Instead of turning to the Lord for help, support, comfort; I turn to things. To people.  The things that will always disappoint me eventually.

 There are so many problems with this way of thinking. Of living. I'm constantly waiting for the big thing in life, which then causes me to miss the little things in life. The important things. Because there are no "big things" in life. Life is made up of little moments. and you have to take them as they come. Take them for what they are. not what you think they should be.

Enjoy life and those little things. When you aren't enjoying those little things, you're ruining life and its' joys for yourself. Because life's little things combined are what make up a "bigger thing". You need to stop focusing on what is going to happen in your life and live in the moment. Take the time to look around you at the wonders that God has made for us. He doesn't want us to be disappointed and depressed about the life He's created for us. But He also doesn't want us to put our trust and happiness into other people or other things. Things are never going to happen exactly how we want them to, and living our life believing our "fantasy future" is actually going to be reality some day will ultimately leave us disappointed. Every. Single. Time. This is your life. How it is.

If you're depressed that this is it, you need to realize that it doesn't have to be it. Because you can constantly give more and more of yourself to the Lord. It might not necessarily change your life, being the circumstances around you, but it will change your outlook on life. And that will in turn make you happier. It's not easy and might not always make you "happy" in the way that the world views happiness but it will make you happy in the way that you know you are serving the most incredible One you could ever serve.

 Trusting Him won't be easy. God himself told us that many times, following Him in this world is going to be the hardest most complicated and wonderful thing we could ever do! We just need to trust in Him, and life will be so much more wonderful and so much happier!


Having a boyfriend, getting married, having a family, having friends-these are all wonderful things that God has created for our enjoyment. And they may make you "happy" for a time, but trials will happen and they won't seem like the perfect wonderful thing you always imagined they would be. Things always seem more wonderful before you have it. Once you realize the reality that things and people will disappoint you some time or another, you'll be left feeling empty and confused. And that is because your whole life was spent hoping and waiting for these big things in life to happen and then you'll realize that it could never, and will never exceed your expectations. We all have wonderful imaginations and a wonderful way of making things seem like what you don't have will always be better than what you have now. We all struggle with being content with what God has given us and ultimately that's what it comes down to; not being content, and envying what others have. Because from far away everyone's life looks better than what yours is. We don't see the close up of other peoples' lives. They have struggles and hardships just like you. Their lives, relationships, and the things they have are not perfect either! No one is perfect. No relationship, besides the one you have with the Lord will ever be perfect.

"A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones."   

-Proverbs 14:30  

 

I've gotten to the point where I hardly ever look forward to anything because I know I'll always be disappointed. God doesn't want us to live our lives like that either. He wants us to be able to enjoy life and have fun. But it's when those things become a bigger concern in our lives that it becomes a problem. Or, in my case, the thought or the idea of those things becomes almost like an idol to me. Not almost, it IS an idol to me. I idolize my idea of what my future will be like. I spend more of my time consumed with those thoughts than I ever do consumed with thoughts of the Lord. And I'm completely ashamed of that. I've been trying and struggling, and praying for the Lord to help me with that. And I think that even as slow as the process is, I think that I'm slowly getting better.

I have an incredibly amazing life. Because I am loved by an incredibly amazing God. No matter what happens in our lives, it is amazing. Because we are alive and breathing. Because we are loved by the highest and most wonderful Lord. So instead of waiting for life's big "thing". Let following God be your LIFE!