This has really been a struggle for me a lot this past year. I don't really like talking about it because it makes me feel weak and stupid. So it was kind of a challenge to get myself to actually even write this post, since admitting my weakness isn't the most appealing thing to do, but if writing this helps anyone I guess it was all worth it. I'm giving this all to God. I feel like He wants me to write this so I guess I'm going to do it and hope it does something for someone. I have anxiety when I try new things or when I might have to talk to someone I don't know. It always small stupid things that send me into a panic. I don't like to talk about because it's always stupid things that set me off. I know that it'll be alright and that it's really nothing to panic about, but I always do. No matter how much I tell myself it'll be alright I always start to think about the bad things that could happen. This wasn't so bad until this year, and I guess how I feel would probably be called a panic attack. I don't have really bad panic attacks but they're still terrible and not fun. There was a point (and I still kind of feel this way) that I didn't want to do anything or go anywhere because I was too afraid to try new things or to be around other people. I don't have a very high self esteem and being around people who I feel are judging me, even though I'm sure they're not, makes me panic. Even though most likely the people around me don't even notice or care what I'm doing or how I look.
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Some great Bible verses on anxiety....
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My Mom told me that if you sit and let your fear and anxiety take over everything you do it will only get worse, but if you try new things even if you might be completely terrified it will make it a little easier the next time you try something new. It is true. After I've tried something I was scared of it always made me feel better after I had done it and also made me feel like I could do other things that might seem scary. Of course the fear doesn't completely go away and keeps coming back again. But I've got to keep telling myself to not give in and let it control my life. That is exactly what the devil wants to happen. He wants you to think that everything is scary and that you're going to mess up or make a fool of yourself. He wants you to sit at home alone feeling worthless and not do anything because you're too afraid to try new things. But we can't give in and let him win. By showing that we can do something even if we're afraid we're showing him that he can't control us and make us waste our lives being afraid. Of course saying something is much easier than doing it, and no matter how much I say what should be done it is so difficult to actually do. With the Lord's help though anything is possible. We just need to put our trust in the Lord and not fear what other people might think. If you think that when you go out or do something that the people around you are judging you or secretly hating on you just remember that in the end it doesn't matter what other people think about you, what God thinks about you is what truly matters. Put your trust in the Lord and just remember that whatever happens was meant to happen for a reason. If worst comes to worst and you DO make a fool of yourself(Which I'm sure is very unlikely) it happened for a reason and maybe there was something that was suppose to be learned by it. And, that moment won't last forever It will pass by and will probably be soon forgotten by the people who saw. So, again, don't let your fears control your life. Let the Lord control your life and let whatever happens happen. God's got your life in His hands he won't give you anything He knows you can't handle. And, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. ;)
This might be my last blog post until after the holidays so have a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! :) <3
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Some great Bible verses on anxiety....
"Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life ? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest? "Consider how the lilies grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith! And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it. For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them. But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well. "Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom. Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will not be exhausted, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."-Luke 12:24-34
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."-Matthew 11:28-30
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."-Philippians 4:6-7
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My Mom told me that if you sit and let your fear and anxiety take over everything you do it will only get worse, but if you try new things even if you might be completely terrified it will make it a little easier the next time you try something new. It is true. After I've tried something I was scared of it always made me feel better after I had done it and also made me feel like I could do other things that might seem scary. Of course the fear doesn't completely go away and keeps coming back again. But I've got to keep telling myself to not give in and let it control my life. That is exactly what the devil wants to happen. He wants you to think that everything is scary and that you're going to mess up or make a fool of yourself. He wants you to sit at home alone feeling worthless and not do anything because you're too afraid to try new things. But we can't give in and let him win. By showing that we can do something even if we're afraid we're showing him that he can't control us and make us waste our lives being afraid. Of course saying something is much easier than doing it, and no matter how much I say what should be done it is so difficult to actually do. With the Lord's help though anything is possible. We just need to put our trust in the Lord and not fear what other people might think. If you think that when you go out or do something that the people around you are judging you or secretly hating on you just remember that in the end it doesn't matter what other people think about you, what God thinks about you is what truly matters. Put your trust in the Lord and just remember that whatever happens was meant to happen for a reason. If worst comes to worst and you DO make a fool of yourself(Which I'm sure is very unlikely) it happened for a reason and maybe there was something that was suppose to be learned by it. And, that moment won't last forever It will pass by and will probably be soon forgotten by the people who saw. So, again, don't let your fears control your life. Let the Lord control your life and let whatever happens happen. God's got your life in His hands he won't give you anything He knows you can't handle. And, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. ;)
This might be my last blog post until after the holidays so have a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! :) <3
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