Fear and Doubt

Fear comes in many shapes and forms. It's the devil's way of pulling us away from the Lord; he uses his lies and cunning and tries to make us dwell on those things. I've struggled with fear for as long as I can remember; being little and being afraid of the "scary monsters" in movies, as all children are.  I would lay in bed and think about and dwell on those things. I'd struggle to sleep and my imagination would run wild. I remember a lot of times, even after I would sleep, I would have nightmares about it, and they would come back on different nights, constantly attacking me. Looking back now, those dreams and those things I was scared of seem so silly, which isn't surprising. I was a kid and I had "silly" fears that most kids have. I'm sure as kids we've all had those things we were afraid of, and as stupid as they seem now, they were very real to us then, and that's because the devil knows exactly what our fears are at that moment and plays with them.

 As I became a teenager, my fear became even more intense and I remember struggling with it every night. I dreaded going to bed because of what I might think about. I would be awake in my room, hearing sounds and seeing things. I would constantly worry about what my future would hold and the bad things that might happen to me or those I love. These thoughts, these fears, they consumed me and instead of turning to God for comfort and strength, I continued to dwell on them, giving more and more power to the devil and straying further and further from the Lord. When I eventually began to get closer to the Lord and began learning about Him more, it seemed that the fear would become even more intense.  I would see more things; I would have more bad dreams and I would have more worries. I thought that all I had to do was give my fears to Him once and that then I would never struggle again. But once my fears continued, and in even more strength than before, I began to doubt and thought that maybe God wasn't actually there and that He wasn't hearing my cries for help. How blind I am; how blind we all are. The closer we become to God, the angrier Satan becomes and the harder he works. He knows that he's losing us and he uses whatever means he can think of with even more strength than ever before.

"The Lord said, "Go out and stand on the mountain in presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by." Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle voice." -1 Kings 19:11-12 

God is always there but you may not be able to hear Him if you're focusing your attention on something else. He doesn't scream at you; He's a still, small voice. You have to let go of your pride and come to Him and ask Him for the help that you so desperately need. Asking for help and admitting your weaknesses and failures isn't easy, even if it's to the one who already knows them all. It isn't a one time thing either; we have to constantly give ourselves and our fears to God. Every time we start to fear, give it to Him. It's not a one time prayer and your worries and your fears will magically go away as I once thought. God wasn't stepping back when I was afraid; He was teaching me to run to Him. Even when the devil tries as hard as he can, God wants us to turn to Him no matter what, no matter how loud the devil is screaming his lies.  And when it gets even harder but you are still able to give it to God, the closer you will be to Him, and the stronger your faith will become. That's exactly why He allows these things to happen, because they help us grow and depend on Him.

I still struggle with fear. It may not be in the same ways that I used to struggle with it, but like I said before, fear comes in many different shapes and it grows with you. My fear has turned into anxiety; I worry about the simplest and the dumbest things. I second guess everything and I get so anxious sometimes that I feel sick. Over the years it has definitely gotten better, thanks to the Lord, but I still struggle. The only way these anxieties and worries will ever go away is if I completely give them to the Lord. Every second, every minute, every day. Give it to Him, because He wants you to accept the peace that He offers.

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." -John 14:27 

His peace and comfort are there for you. You just have to listen for that still, small voice. The devil screams and yells at you, attempting to ignite your fear. While the Lord whispers in your ear, telling you to let go and let Him.

"He says, "Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations. I will be exalted in the earth." -Psalms 46:10  

The creator of the world, the most powerful being, wants you to give your cares and fear to Him. Beloved, be still. He will take it all from you. He loves you, and He doesn't want you to be afraid, about anything. Things of this world, things of the spiritual world, your future, your past. Nothing. He knows everything and is in control of everything. All you have to do is let Him. Easier said than done, yes, I know. Trust me, I know. Years of letting my fear (the devil's lies) control my life has shown me that, but because I've gone through that and still struggle, I don't wish anyone to have to live like that. We don't have to do life alone and struggle. We don't have to fear because there is nothing that has happened or will happen that God doesn't know and isn't in control of! Everything that happens is for a reason greater than we will ever know (At least here on earth). Don't doubt that. Don't doubt His sovereignty, His love, His strength. It is eternal and it is there for you and all you have to do is ask.

"When I said, "My foot is slipping(Doubt)," your unfailing love, Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy." -Psalms 94:18-19 

 The next time you feel your fear start to consume you or you're overwhelmed by anxiety, take a minute, breathe. And pray; pray for comfort and peace. Remember that all things happen for the good of the Lord. Nothing will happen that isn't for your good and for the good of everyone else who loves the Lord. He knows what's best for everyone and even though it may seem hard and uncomfortable, it will ultimately be for your good. Just trust Him and don't fear.

"When I'm afraid, I put my trust in you." -Psalms 56:3