An Apology To The Unbelievers

Dear Unbeliever,

I want to start this blog post as a letter to you; an apology letter. I am so sorry for the times you have been ignored and have been mistreated by those who claim to follow Christ. I'm sorry for the times you've walked into a church or into a group of Christians and felt unwelcome, unloved, and attacked. I want to apologize on behalf of all those who claim to know God's love but don't show it. I am so sorry that you think that God's love is this "love" that supposed Christians are talking about. There are so many people who claim to know God's love, and claim to be living for Christ....but they aren't. They put on a good front and they say the words to sound good. Instead of leading you to the perfect wonderful God; They push you all away. And I understand why you run; I don't blame you. I want to tell you of my experience in finding my "home church" and how that inspired this apology to you.


A couple months ago I started going to a church with my sister. I had been hoping to find my "home church" and to meet other believers. I was hopeful that this was the church, and I was excited about it and ready to fellowship with other believers. As I started going, I became even more excited; I loved the sermons and I thought that it would only be a matter of time before I was noticed and accepted into this church. Week after week I came, hoping that I would soon be recognized as new and hoping that someone, anyone, would invite me to join their group. This church wasn't huge but it wasn't small either so I figured it may take a little more time for people to notice me than it would if I were in a smaller church. So I continued to go hoping more and more that I would be noticed. A month and a half passed by (So about 6 services) and still no one noticed me, acknowledged me, or talked to me. One week I decided to go way out of my comfort zone and go alone, without my sister, thinking that maybe people would be more willing to come up to me if they saw I was alone.

I was right. I was greeted by a few people for the very first time since I had been going. I was thrilled and thought that finally I would be able to get to know people and get to talk and grow in Christ with them. So, of course, the next week I figured the same would happen. I came alone again and hoped that the people who talked to me the previous week would see me and come talk to me again, and possibly introduce me to other people. Oh, how wrong I was. I ended up sitting close to them again, made eye contact and smiled. I hoped that maybe they would come talk to me or at least return the smile and acknowledge they had met me. Nope. It was returned by a glance away from me and nothing else. I felt rejected and hurt. It reminded me of all the times in my life that I had been seen as not "good enough" by people and been put aside for someone better than myself. I sat there alone, not being approached by anyone. I would even smile and try to let people know that I was friendly and ready to talk, but not one person returned the smile; not one person talked to me. Instead, they ignored me to talk to the ones they already knew. At this church, every service they have everyone say good morning to each other and greet one another. That small two minute greeting was the only time anyone said anything to me, and even then, it was forced and unloving. You'd shake their hand and they would take it away as soon as they could and quickly look to someone they knew. Completely focused on themselves and their friends, instead of the one who was alone. I felt so alone and so out of place. I drove home that day in tears and feeling rejected.

On the drive home, I started to realize things about the church that I hadn't really picked up on when I came with my sister. I remembered the times when I had smiled at people and never had a smile returned. Honestly, I couldn't remember a time anyone had returned a smile to me. I remembered walking into the church and not even being greeted by the "greeters" at the door. I remember watching them focused on a conversation they were having with their regular members, their friends-ignoring anyone new who may have walked through those doors. I remember walking past the groups of friends and "cliques" as I walked into the service room-not being acknowledged by anyone. I remembered sitting alone on a bench and being one of the few in the room and having people pass by me, look at me, and ignore me. I remember not one person coming to sit down next to me. I remember feeling so alone.

If I as a Christian can walk into a church full of supposed "followers of Christ" and feel the unfriendliness; I can only imagine what you, as an unbeliever can feel. I have met and known many more unbelievers who were friendlier and nicer than some of the ones that claim to know Christ. It makes me so sad to think of you being treated like that, and that you would be so out of place and rejected by "Christians". It's heartbreaking to me. And so sad that Christ's love is be tarnished by sinful people. I want you to know though, that that is not Christ.

"Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves." -Matthew 7:15 

It's so easy to say the "right" things but is hard to live the right way. People can be fake and are able to make themselves seem a certain way, even if they really aren't. You may wonder then, how can you know who is really a Christian? How can you know if you want to follow this "Christ" if His followers are mean and nasty? A true follower of Christ will try to make you feel welcome and loved, and use Christ as an example on how to live their lives.

I'm not saying that as Christians we're not sinful; we are. Very much so. And we so very often fall short of God's love, and when we do, it hurts people. But please don't confuse our sinful nature, with the nature of Christ! That sin and nasty unfriendliness is us, not Christ. Christ's love is PURE and perfect, even if we aren't. His love is so pure and so perfect that He died for all who turn to Him and accept Him. Please, please don't judge Christ by the ones who pretend to know Him. Don't base your decision to turn away from Him because of us. Base it on the one who died to save you,

"Greater love has no one more than this: to lay one's life down for ones friends." -John 15:13 

 He did lay His life down for us(his friends), and there is no greater love than this.

"Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love." -1 John 4:8 

People can claim to know God all they want, but if they do not love- They do not know God. Don't let those who lie and say they know Him tarnish your view of Christ. Turn to His words to see His love, not sinful people. I wish I could completely express the love I feel from Him on the inside. I wish I was able to so purely express what it means to be loved by Christ, but because of my sinfulness, I can't completely and 100% express it. I can, though, point you to the Bible and His words of love.

"But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." -Romans 5:8 

Another example of His love is the fact they even while He was on the cross dying for our sins, He cried out to forgive the ones who were killing Him!

Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." -Luke 23:34 

Who would do that? Who would cry out to forgive their enemies, the ones who were killing them? The fact that Christ would do that in the midst of His suffering can show us what kind of love He has for us. Unconditional love and forgiveness. Even when we've sinned. He will always forgive us and welcome us with open arms. All we have to do is repent and ask.

So, again- I am sorry that you've been treated like this. I'm sorry we've fallen short. That I've fallen short. That we haven't been able to show God's true love to you. I am so ashamed of the church, and of those who call themselves Christians and turn those like you away. But let me tell you this, even though people may turn from you and not welcome you, Christ will and He is only waiting for you to ask Him into your life and He will forgive you. He loves you unconditionally and forever.

Love,
An Imperfect Christian
With A Perfect God.